How precious a thing is a baby. How wonderful a thing is a child. What a marvelous thing is a family. Live worthy of becoming a father of whom your wife and children will be proud.
The Lord has ordained that we should marry, that we shall live together in love and peace and harmony, that we shall have children and rear them in His holy ways.
President Taylor was a loving and devoted husband and father. Of him, his son Moses W. Taylor wrote the following: “He had a strong desire to keep his children under the family influence and provided play grounds for us. Even when he was past seventy years of age he would join us in our games. He provided a large sand pile for the little ones and if I have ever had any better time in my life than I did digging in the sand, I have failed to recognize it. …
“I have never heard him enter into any argument with any of his family; I have never heard him and my mother contend or disagree in the presence of the children. When talking about our duties in the church, it was always in the spirit of counsel and he would frequently say, ‘It would please me if you are a faithful Latter-day Saint.’ He was held in such high esteem by his children that to please him seemed to be their greatest desire.”
Train your children to be intelligent and industrious. First teach them the value of healthful bodies, and how to preserve them in soundness and vigor; teach them to entertain the highest regard for virtue and chastity and likewise encourage them to develop the intellectual faculties with which they are endowed. They should also be taught regarding the earth on which they live, its properties, and the laws that govern it; and they ought to be instructed concerning God who made the earth, and His designs and purposes in its creation and the placing of man upon it. … And whatever labor they pursue they should be taught to do so intelligently; and every incentive, at the command of parents to induce children to labor intelligently and understandingly, should be held out to them. …
where people are deficient themselves in education they should strive all the more to see that the deficiency be not perpetuated in their offspring.
That shield of faith is not produced in a factory but at home in a cottage industry.
Boyd K. Packer, Shield of Faith, April 1995 General Conference
Your mother and I want you to know that we were your age once. We were 31, with a small family. We have an idea of what you might encounter. It might be a financial or health challenge. It may be a crisis of faith. You may just get overwhelmed with life. When these things happen, we want you to come and talk to us. We’ll help you get through them. Now, we don’t want to be in your business all the time, but we want you to know that we are always in your corner. And while we’re together, I want to tell you about an interview I just had with a young man named Pablo.
Brothers and sisters, we are engaged in a battle with the world. In the past, the world competed for our children’s energy and time. Today, it fights for their identity and mind. Many loud and prominent voices are trying to define who our children are and what they should believe. We cannot let society give our family a makeover in the image of the world. We must win this battle. Everything depends on it.
Parents, treat your children aright; train them up in the fear of the Lord; they are of more importance to you than many things that you give your attention to.
Agency is the source of the risk. It is so priceless a gift from our Heavenly Father that the War in Heaven was fought to defend it. Lucifer sought to take it from us and with it take for himself the honor and glory of our Father. The teenager you love may well have been one of the valiant warriors on the side of agency and truth. Satan seems to feel he can win a double victory by drawing that teenager into sin. He can destroy one of his antagonists and in the process try to prove the Father wrong, prove that the risk of agency was too great.
We can help by seeing clearly the opportunity. The teenager who begins to say, “It’s my life to live, my choices to make,” is speaking the truth, a wonderful truth. The choice to do good is the only way to build a life on the foundation of truth and light. Yet those words can strike fear into a parent or a bishop or a Young Women leader who loves the teenager. That outburst of independence usually comes when a rule is announced or something is forbidden. It may come with the mere appearance of authority, with anyone telling them what they must do, or even with just a look at a hemline.
Our opportunity lies in their seeing a simple truth. And their seeing this is their opportunity, too. It is their life to live, and yet they live it with two powerful opposing forces pulling on them in different ways. One is God, who loves and will not compel and who offers eternal life through the plan of salvation. That plan depends on the Atonement made by the Savior, Jesus Christ, and the teenager’s choice to follow Him. The other, a terrible power, will use deception, force, and hatred to bring someone into bondage and misery. And the teenager is free to choose.
The opportunity is in their seeing that reality, but that is also the problem. It takes the revelation of truth from God to the teenager for those opposing forces to be seen as real. Once seen, the choice will be obvious. But many young people have little experience with persisting in obedience when the truth must be taken on faith alone until it is revealed to them. The opportunity lies in their sensing what they once knew, that the power to choose is a gift from God to bring them happiness in life and in the life to come with Him.
We can help in the way we react to their determination to choose for themselves. They will sense whether we see them as if they could well have been one of the faithful warriors from the premortal existence, committed still to the defense of moral agency and aware of its great value to bring them happiness. If we can see them as faithful warriors from the premortal existence, we may also see their claims of independence as a sign of their potential, a sign that they are testing the power of agency that will bring them happiness. That is hard, because we know the risk should they choose sin. But when fear for them comes, as it does, it helps for us to remember and take comfort that there are opposing pulls. There is an influence of evil in the world, but there is also in the world, and across all creation, the powerful Light of Christ.
Heavenly Father never intended for us as parents to sit on the sidelines as spectators, watching the spiritual lives of our children unfold. Let me illustrate this idea of intentional parenting with a personal experience....
“We cannot wait for conversion to simply happen to our children. Accidental conversion is not a principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” Our love and inspired invitations can make a difference in how our children use their agency. President Nelson emphasized, “No other work transcends that of righteous, intentional parenting!”....
See Russell M. Nelson, “Salvation and Exaltation,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2008, 10: “Do not try to control your children. Instead, listen to them, help them to learn the gospel, inspire them, and lead them toward eternal life. You are God’s agents in the care of children He has entrusted to you. Let His divine influence remain in your hearts as you teach and persuade.”
address those participating members today who maybe are not being as faithful to their covenants as they should be. In both cases, generations ahead of them are impacted, and blessings and promises that were reserved for their posterities are at risk....
It is so sad when we come across inactive members or nonmembers of the Church who at one time had the gospel within their families and lost it because of their parents’ or grandparents’ decision to take a break from the Church. That decision could have an impact on their posterity forever!
Their children and grandchildren have been precluded from the protection and the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives. Even more heartbreaking, they have lost the promises of an eternal family which were there one day. The decision of one has impacted a whole chain of descendants. A legacy of faith has been broken....
You and generations yet unborn will be blessed by your actions now to return to the covenant path....
today’s participating members who maybe are not being as faithful as they should be. Just as yesterday’s decisions impact today’s realities, decisions of today will impact our future and the future of our family members....
As we make current decisions, we should always be asking, ‘Where will this lead?’” Will our current decisions lead us to joy now and in eternity, or will they lead us to sorrow and tears?....
Some may think, “We don’t need to attend church every Sunday,” or “We will pay tithing when things get better,” or “I will not support the Church leaders in this subject.”
“But,” they say, “we know the Church is true, and we will never leave the gospel of Jesus Christ.”
Those with thoughts like these do not realize the negative impact this “lukewarm” type of membership will have on their lives and on the lives of their posterity. The parents may remain active, but the risk of losing their children is high—in this life and in eternity.
Regarding those who will not inherit celestial glory with their families, the Lord says, “These are they who are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus; wherefore, they obtain not the crown over the kingdom of our God.” Is that what we want for ourselves or our children? Shouldn’t we be more valiant and less lukewarm for our own sake and for the sake of our posterity?....
… The decision to ‘walk no more’ with Church members and the Lord’s chosen leaders will have a long-term impact that cannot always be seen right now.....
Don’t be the weak link in this beautiful chain of faith you started, or you received, as a legacy. Be the strong one. It is your turn to do it, and the Lord can help you.
If our good women are to continue in their primary roles as nurturers, teachers, homemakers, and managers, they will need more support and help in order for them to find time to give compassionate service to their families and others. If this help is withheld, our lives, our homes, the Church, and the world will be the poorer, for so much love, gentleness, and understanding will be lost.
The Highest Place of Honor, April 1988 General Conference, James E. Faust
Eternal doctrine also provides a distinctive perspective on children. Through this perspective we see the bearing and nurturing of children as part of the divine plan. It is a joyful and sacred duty of those given the power to participate in it. Therefore, we are commanded to teach and contend for principles and practices that provide the best conditions for the development and happiness of children under God’s plan.
Connecting with our ancestors can change our lives in surprising ways. From their trials and accomplishments, we gain faith and strength. From their love and sacrifices, we learn to forgive and move forward. Our children become resilient. We gain protection and power. Ties with ancestors increase family closeness, gratitude, miracles. Such ties can bring help from the other side of the veil.
Having grown up without the “ideal family” as a model, I constantly doubted myself and my abilities whilst raising our children. This quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles comforted me: “If you … will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; … if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do.” Doing our best will require the Saviour’s help—and if ever there was a time in history when parents needed to rely on Him, it is now!
Instead of worrying about lots of rules and whether our children fulfil them perfectly, we can focus on building our relationship with them and with the Saviour. Our beloved prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, said it this way: “Do not try to control your children. Instead, listen to them, help them to learn the gospel, inspire them, and lead them toward eternal life. You are God’s agents in the care of children He has entrusted to you. Let His divine influence remain in your hearts as you teach and persuade.” From my experience, this advice rings true.
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I believe that my husband’s example of living the gospel was the biggest influence on our children. They saw him read scriptures, pray, and attend church—even if on his own. This had an impact far more powerful than anything we formally taught.
President Henry B. Eyring taught: “We have the greatest opportunity with the young. The best time to teach is early, while children are still immune to the temptations of [the] mortal enemy, and long before the words of truth may be harder for them to hear in the noise of their personal struggles.” Such teaching will help them realize their divine identity, their purpose, and the rich blessings that await them as they make sacred covenants and receive ordinances along the covenant path.
We cannot wait for conversion to simply happen to our children. Accidental conversion is not a principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Becoming like our Savior will not happen randomly. Being intentional in loving, teaching, and testifying can help children begin at a young age to feel the influence of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is essential to our children’s testimony of and conversion to Jesus Christ; we desire them to “always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them.”
Testimonies are best cultivated in the home. During this past year, many of you have dramatically increased the study of the gospel in your homes. I thank you, and your children will thank you.
I’ve shared with you previously an example of this philosophy. I believe it bears repeating. Many years ago, Arthur Gordon wrote in a national magazine, and I quote:
“When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say [into the phone], ‘No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait.’
“When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. ‘The circus keeps coming back, you know,’ [she said.]
“‘I know,’ said Father. ‘But childhood doesn’t.’”2
October 2008, General Conference, Joy in the Journey, Thomas S. Monson
President Russell M. Nelson gave this wise counsel: “Don’t answer a behavioral question with a behavioral answer. It is much better to give an answer based upon a principle, or even better, with a doctrinal answer, if you can.”
The Church News, August 3, 2020 Tad R Callister, Principles versus rules
