President Taylor taught the Saints the importance of parents setting a good example for their children. His son Frank Y. Taylor once spoke of the great influence for good that the example of his father had been in his life: “When I think of the careful training that I had, of the wonderful example that was set before me, in my youth, I feel that it would be inexcusable for me to do that which was not right in my life, because I feel that I had a perfect example to follow. As a boy, however, I have been tempted like other boys; but my father’s life was so free and pure and clean that whenever temptation was presented to me, it seemed like my father rose up before me in majesty, like a monument, and I could not do the wrong which I was tempted to do. I felt that I would bring displeasure upon him, and I know there was nothing in his life that would warrant me in taking a course that would not be acceptable before our Father in heaven. I felt, as I thought of his life, O, I would like to live that kind of a life myself, so that I would be a light in the darkness to my boys and girls.”

Chapter 21: Strengthening Families

John Taylor

Teachings of Presidents

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-john-taylor/chapter-21?lang=eng&verse=#p

Protect the Private Times of Your Life

 One Saturday morning when I was 13 years old, I was mowing the grass as part of my weekly chores. When I finished, I heard the door close at the back of our house and looked to see my father calling me to join him. I walked to the back porch, and he invited me to sit with him on the steps. It was a beautiful morning. I still recall him sitting so close to me that our shoulders were touching. He began by telling me he loved me. He asked me what my goals were in life. I thought, “Well, that’s easy.” I knew two things for sure: I wanted to be taller, and I wanted to go camping more often. I was a simple soul. He smiled, paused for a moment, and said: “Steve, I’d like to share something with you that’s very important to me. I’ve prayed that our Heavenly Father will cause what I say now to be indelibly imprinted in your mind and on your soul so that you’ll never forget.”

My father had my full attention in that moment. He turned and looked at me in the eyes and said, “Son, protect the private times of your life.” There was a long pause as he let the meaning sink deep into my heart.

He then continued, “You know, those times when you’re the only one around and no one else knows what you’re doing? Those times when you think, ‘Whatever I do now doesn’t affect anyone else, only me’?”

Then he said, “More than any other time in your life, what you do during the private times of your life will have the greatest impact on how you confront challenges and heartache you will face; and what you do during the private times of your life will also have a greater impact on how you confront the successes and joy you will experience than any other time in your life.”

Foreordained to Serve

April 2024

General Conference

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/04/32bangerter?lang=eng&verse=#p

A father who reads scripture to and with his children acquaints them with the voice of the Lord

 A father who reads scripture to and with his children acquaints them with the voice of the Lord.

Fathers

April 2016

2010–2019

D. Todd Christofferson

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/fathers?lang=eng&verse=#p

If you will keep your boys close to your heart, within the clasp of your arms; if you will make them to feel that you love them, that you are their parents, that they are your children, and keep them near to you, they will not go very far from you,

 Oh! my brethren, be true to your families, be true to your wives and children. Teach them the way of life. Do not allow them to get so far from you that they will become oblivious to you or to any principle of honor, purity or truth. … If you will keep your boys close to your heart, within the clasp of your arms; if you will make them to feel that you love them, that you are their parents, that they are your children, and keep them near to you, they will not go very far from you, and they will not commit any very great sin. But it is when you turn them out of the home, turn them out of your affection—out into the darkness of the night into the society of the depraved or degraded; it is when they become tiresome to you, or you are tired of their innocent noise and prattle at home, and you say, “Go off somewhere else,” it is this sort of treatment of your children that drives them from you.

Our children are like we are; we couldn’t be driven; we can’t be driven now. We are like some other animals that we know of in the world. You can coax them; you can lead them, by holding out inducements to them, and by speaking kindly to them, but you can’t drive them; they won’t be driven. We won’t be driven. Men are not in the habit of being driven; they are not made that way. …

Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, 253

How to Be a Righteous Father to Your Children How to Raise Kids

If you can only convince your children that you love them, that your soul goes out to them for their good, that you are their truest friend, they, in turn, will place confidence in you and will love you and seek to do your bidding and to carry out your wishes with your love. But if you are selfish, unkindly to them, and if they are not confident that they have your entire affection, they will be selfish, and will not care whether they please you or carry out your wishes or not, and the result will be that they will grow wayward, thoughtless and careless.10

Chapter 33: Children: The Richest of All Earthly Joys,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith (2011), 294–303

May the fathers in Israel live as they should live; treat their wives as they should treat them; make their homes as comfortable as they possibly can; lighten the burden upon their companions as much as possible; set a proper example before their children; teach them to meet with them in prayer, morning and night, and whenever they sit down to partake of food, to acknowledge the mercy of God in giving them the food that they eat and the raiment that they wear, and acknowledge the hand of God in all things.12

“Chapter 28: The Wrongful Road of Abuse,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith(2011), 249–55


You can’t force your boys, nor your girls into heaven. You may force them to hell, by using harsh means in the efforts to make them good, when you yourselves are not as good as you should be. The man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in anger, is in the greatest fault; he is more to be pitied and more to be condemned than the child who has done wrong. You can only correct your children by love, in kindness, by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason.10
....
With these means, if you cannot gain your boys and your girls, they will prove to be reprobate to you; and there will be no means left in the world by which you can win them to yourselves. But get them to feel as you feel, have interest in the things in which you take interest, to love the gospel as you love it, to love one another as you love them, to love their parents as the parents love the children. You can’t do it any other way. You can’t do it by unkindness; you cannot do it by driving—our children are like we are: we couldn’t be driven; we can’t be driven now. We are like some other animals that we know of in the world: You can coax them; you can lead them by holding out inducements to them and by speaking kindly to them, but you can’t drive them; they won’t be driven. We won’t be driven. Men are not … made that way.

AUGUST 2004 GOSPEL CLASSICS:Gospel Classics:Love of Mother and Father President Joseph F. Smith (1838–1918)

You have strong hands, Son. I hope your hands always have the strength to never touch a young lady inappropriately.

When I was a teenager, my dad and I enjoyed challenging each other to see who had the strongest grip. We would squeeze the other’s hand as tightly as possible in an effort to make the other grimace in pain. It doesn’t seem like much fun now, but somehow it was at the time. After one such battle, Dad looked me in the eyes and said, “You have strong hands, Son. I hope your hands always have the strength to never touch a young lady inappropriately.” He then invited me to stay morally clean and help others do the same.

Teaching in the Home—a Joyful and Sacred Responsibility, April 2018 General Conference, Devin G. Durrant

Power of Saying I'm Wrong; I'm Sorry; Please Forgive Me!

Throughout Jack’s life, he and his father had many serious arguments. One day, when he was 17, they had a particularly violent one. Jack said to his father, “This is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I’m leaving home, and I shall never return.” So saying, he went to the house and packed his bag. His mother begged him to stay; he was too angry to listen. He left her crying at the doorway.

Leaving the yard, he was about to pass through the gate when he heard his father call to him, “Jack, I know that a large share of the blame for your leaving rests with me. For this I am truly sorry. I want you to know that if you should ever wish to return home, you’ll always be welcome. And I’ll try to be a better father to you. I want you to know that I’ll always love you.”

Jack said nothing but went to the bus station and bought a ticket to a distant point. As he sat on the bus, watching the miles go by, he commenced to think about the words of his father. He began to realize how much love it had required for him to do what he had done. Dad had apologized. He had invited him back and left the words ringing in the summer air: “I love you.”

It was then that Jack realized that the next move was up to him. He knew the only way he could ever find peace with himself was to demonstrate to his father the same kind of maturity, goodness, and love that Dad had shown toward him. Jack got off the bus. He bought a return ticket and went back.

He arrived shortly after midnight, entered the house, turned on the light. There in the rocking chair sat his father, his head in his hands. As he looked up and saw Jack, he arose from the chair and they rushed into each other’s arms. Jack often said, “Those last years that I was home were among the happiest of my life.”

We could say that here was a boy who overnight became a man. Here was a father who, suppressing passion and bridling pride, rescued his son before he became one of that vast, “lost battalion” resulting from fractured families and shattered homes. Love was the binding band, the healing balm. Love so often felt, so seldom expressed.
Thomas S. Monson, Bring Him Home, April 2003General ConferenceA Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson p. 180

Sometimes We Fathers Forget That Once We, Too, Were Boys, And Boys At Times Can Be Vexing to Parents

Our influence is surely felt in our respective families. Sometimes we fathers forget that once we, too, were boys, and boys at times can be vexing to parents.

I recall how much, as a youngster, I liked dogs. One day I took my wagon and placed a wooden orange crate in it and went looking for dogs. At that time dogs were everywhere to be found: at school, walking along the sidewalks, or exploring vacant lots, of which there were many. As I would find a dog and capture it, I placed it in the crate, took it home, locked it in the coal shed, and turned the latch on the door. That day I think I brought home six dogs of varying sizes and made them my prisoners after this fashion. I had no idea what I would do with all those dogs, so I didn’t reveal my deed to anyone.

Dad came home from work and, as was his custom, took the coal bucket and went to the coal shed to fill it. Can you imagine his shock and utter consternation as he opened the door and immediately faced six dogs, all attempting to escape at once? As I recall, Dad flushed a little bit, and then he calmed down and quietly told me, “Tommy, coal sheds are for coal. Other people’s dogs rightfully belong to them.” By observing him, I learned a lesson in patience and calmness.

It is a good thing I did, for a similar event occurred in my life with our youngest son, Clark.

Clark has always liked animals, birds, reptiles—anything that is alive. Sometimes that resulted in a little chaos in our home. One day in his boyhood he came home from Provo Canyon with a water snake, which he named Herman.

Right off the bat Herman got lost. Sister Monson found him in the silverware drawer. Water snakes have a way of being where you least expect them. Well, Clark moved Herman to the bathtub, put a plug in the drain, put a little water in, and had a sign taped to the back of the tub which read, “Don’t use this tub. It belongs to Herman.” So we had to use the other bathroom while Herman occupied that sequestered place.

But then one day, to our amazement, Herman disappeared. His name should have been Houdini. He was gone! So the next day Sister Monson cleaned up the tub and prepared it for normal use. Several days went by.

One evening I decided it was time to take a leisurely bath; so I filled the tub with a lot of warm water, and then I peacefully lay down in the tub for a few moments of relaxation. I was lying there just pondering, when the soapy water reached the level of the overflow drain and began to flow through it. Can you imagine my surprise when, with my eyes focused on that drain, Herman came swimming out, right for my face? I yelled out to my wife, “Frances! Here comes Herman!”

Well, Herman was captured again, put in a foolproof box, and we made a little excursion to Vivian Park in Provo Canyon and there released Herman into the beautiful waters of the South Fork Creek. Herman was never again to be seen by us.
I was grateful that day to have my own father's example of patience before me to show the proper response. 

Thomas S. Monson, "Peace, Be Still,", October 2002 General Conference
A Prophets Voice - Messages From Thomas S. Monson p. 422

I like this because it reminds me of Bishop Arnie Wolff and something he said his father would say, "When you have a 5 year old helping you--you get 5-year old work.  When you have a 12-year old helping you--you get 12-year old work." Meaning don't get upset when things aren't perfect!

Even When I "Messed up" I Always Felt His Love and Confidence

My father would teach me how to do things with patience and acceptance.

One day he invited me to tighten a screw and warned, “Remember, if you put it in too tight, it will break.” Proudly, I wanted to show him what I could do. I tightened with all my might, and, of course, I broke the screw. He made a funny comment, and we started over. Even when I “messed up,” I always felt his love and confidence in me. He passed away more than 10 years ago, but I can still hear his voice, sense his love, enjoy his encouragement, and feel his acceptance.

The feeling of being accepted by someone we love is a basic human need. Being accepted by good people motivates us. It increases our sense of self-worth and self-confidence. Those who cannot find acceptance from desirable sources often seek it elsewhere. They may look to people who are not interested in their well-being. They may attach themselves to false friends and do questionable things to try to receive the acknowledgment they are seeking. They may seek acceptance by wearing a particular brand of clothing to generate a feeling of belonging or status. 

April 2013 General Conference - Being Accepted Of The Lord - Elder Erich W. Kopischke

See Also:

We Underestimate How Genuinely and Frequently Our Children Want to Please Us

My Father Discerned

We are living in the last days, in “perilous times.”¹ As bearers of the priesthood, we have the responsibility to stand strong with a shield of faith against the fiery darts of the adversary. We are role models to the world, protecting God-given, inalienable rights and freedoms. We stand in defense of our homes and our families.

When I was in the ninth grade, I returned from my first out-of-town game with the varsity baseball team. My father discerned that on the long bus ride home I had witnessed language and behavior that was not in harmony with the standards of the gospel. Being a professional artist, he sat down and drew a picture of a knight—a warrior capable of defending castles and kingdoms.

As he drew and read from the scriptures, I learned how to be a faithful priesthood holder—to protect and defend the kingdom of God. The words of the Apostle Paul were my guide:

“Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

“Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

“And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

“Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

“And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”²

 APRIL 2013 GENERAL CONFERENCE - STAND STRONG IN HOLY PLACES - ELDER ROBERT D. HALES

I love this because as a Father it is my privelege, right, and responsibility to discern when something my children have been subjected to is incorrect and not in harmony with the teachings of Heaven.

Become Friends with Your Children's Friends. Be a Worthy Example to Them.

Become friends with your children’s friends. Be a worthy example to them.

 April 2013 General Conference - For Peace At Home - Elder Richard G. Scott

If We Fail to Give Our Best Personal Self and Undivided Time to Those Who Are Truly Important to US, One Day We Will Regret It.

In our day it is easy to merely pretend to spend time with others. With the click of a mouse, we can “connect” with thousands of “friends” without ever having to face a single one of them. Technology can be a wonderful thing, and it is very useful when we cannot be near our loved ones. My wife and I live far away from precious family members; we know how that is. However, I believe that we are not headed in the right direction, individually and as a society, when we connect with family or friends mostly by reposting humorous pictures, forwarding trivial things, or linking our loved ones to sites on the Internet. I suppose there is a place for this kind of activity, but how much time are we willing to spend on it? If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it.

 OCTOBER 2012 OF REGRETS AND RESOLUTIONS - PRESIDENT DIETER F. UCHTDORF

Dad I Only Need a Little Help

Having virtually no quantitative skills, I was seldom if ever able to help our children with math and scientific subjects. One day our high school daughter Nancy asked me for “a little help” regarding a Supreme Court case, Fletcher v. Peck. I was so eager to help after so many times of not being able to help. At last a chance to unload! Out came what I knew about Fletcher v. Peck. Finally my frustrated daughter said, “Dad, I need only a little help!” I was meeting my own needs rather than giving her “a little help.”

Author: Neal A. Maxwell

Title: Remember How Merciful the Lord Hath Been
Where: Ensign, May 2004, 44

We Underestimate How Genuinely and Frequently Our Children Want to Please Us

When I was [a young father], I had just received a phone call telling me of a friend’s death in an accident. I was sitting in the living room with tears streaking down my cheeks. Our young son, Cory, saw the tears as he passed in the hallway. I learned that he had anxiously assumed the tears were because he had disappointed me in some way. He didn’t know about the phone call. Brethren, we underestimate how genuinely and frequently our children want to please us.

Author: Neal A. Maxwell

Title: Remember How Merciful the Lord Hath Been
Where: Ensign, May 2004, 44

Dads Listen to Your Sons

A one-on-one relationship should be a routine part of your stewardship with your sons. Every father needs at least one focused, quality conversation with his sons every month during which they talk about specific things such as school, friends, feelings, video games, text messaging, worthiness, faith, and testimony. Where or when this happens isn’t nearly as important as the fact that it happens....Don’t think you have to try to fix everything or solve everything during these visits. Most of the time, the best thing you can do is just listen. Fathers who listen more than they talk find that their sons share more about what is really going on in their lives. Dads, listen to your sons.

M. Russell Ballard, "Fathers and Sons: A Remarkable Relationship", Ensign, Nov. 2009, 47–50

Meaning in Home and Visiting Teaching

My father was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer when he was only 44. Our family was devastated. The tumor in his brain made simple tasks and abilities, like using silverware and buttoning up his shirts, very difficult for him. I remember trying to hold back the tears one morning as I watched him struggle to spoon cereal into his mouth.
One rainy weekday afternoon I discovered Dad having difficulty dressing himself in his Sunday suit. He couldn’t communicate very well, but I could see he was agitated. Finally I realized he was preparing to go home teaching. I worried that Dad would lose his balance and fall while out in such a condition, so I tried to discourage him from going. The family he was supposed to visit would surely understand, I told him. But he was determined, and go he did.

When Dad returned, his smile was radiant. His arms were full of fresh, homegrown plums—a gift from the family he had visited.

My father died soon after he made that visit. Whenever I don’t feel like going visiting teaching, I think of my dad—in pain and unable to even speak coherently—still trying hard to fulfill his calling and show others how much he cared about them. That reminds me of the real purpose of visiting teaching. And I think to myself, “If Dad could do it, so can I.”
Title: Lessons Learned from Fathers
Where: Ensign, Apr 2009, 36–39

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