A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.

 In conclusion, I speak briefly to those contemplating marriage. The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well. Associations through “hanging out” or exchanging information on the Internet are not a sufficient basis for marriage. There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouse’s behavior in a variety of circumstances. Fiancés should learn everything they can about the families with whom they will soon be joined in marriage. In all of this, we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage … means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.”

Dallin H. Oaks, Divorce, April 2007 General Conference

search words: perfect man, perfect woman committed to each other, marriage

Jacob had a choice to make. He could choose to live his life simply acquainted with the God of his father, or he could choose to live life in committed covenant relationship with Him.

Jacob had a choice to make. He could choose to live his life simply acquainted with the God of his father, or he could choose to live life in committed covenant relationship with Him. Years later, Jacob testified of a life lived within the Lord’s covenant promises: “God … answered me in the day of my distress, and was with me in the way which I went.” Just as He did for Jacob, the Lord will answer each of us in our day of distress if we choose to tether our life with His. He has promised to walk with us in the way.

Genesis 35:3; emphasis added. Jacob’s parents directed him to leave home to distance himself from Esau, who had threatened to kill him, and to have the opportunity to meet someone whom he could marry in the covenant (see Genesis 27:41–45; 28:1–2, 5). 

Walking in Covenant Relationship with Christ

October 2023

General Conference

Emily Belle Freeman

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10/42freeman?lang=eng&verse=#p

Turn off social media and other outside distractions from time to time to sit and talk and enjoy each other’s company.

Some of you may be overprogrammed with lots of activities, including good ones. Please be careful not to overprogram your children. Turn off social media and other outside distractions from time to time to sit and talk and enjoy each other’s company. As I recently taught in general conference, regularly hold a family council (see “Family Councils,” Ensign, May 2016, 63–65).

Remember, the Lord counseled us to find time to “be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10; see also Doctrine and Covenants 101:16).

To keep family members occupied and away from what matters most, someone is always creating something new—a new app or game, for example, that prompts young people to look down at their smartphones rather than up to see the beautiful creations of God’s wonderful world or even someone they may want to meet, date, and marry and with whom they could have a real-world relationship that results in eternal blessings.

An Epistle from an Apostle

September 2019

Ensign

M. Russell Ballard

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2019/09/an-epistle-from-an-apostle?lang=eng&verse=#p

How Best to Prepare for True Love

Personal purity is the key to true love. The more pure your thoughts and feelings, your words and actions, the greater your capacity to give and receive true love.

Trust me on this: Every time you pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father in prayer, and then listen; every time you study the scriptures seeking answers to the questions of your heart; every time you avoid anything that would wound your spirit (such as pornography); every time you worship in the temple; every time you find an ancestor’s ordinance-qualifying information, you are choosing to increase your personal purity.

Your future spouse will thank you because in that very moment you will be preparing for true marital intimacy. So, if you’re single and wonder how best to prepare for true love, the answer is: Do whatever it takes to keep your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions pure. Invite the Spirit to guide you. He will help you! And if you’re married, my counsel is exactly the same!

As you work to become more pure, you will have the Holy Ghost with you more and more. Your ability to receive personal revelation will increase, which means you’ll have clearer direction for your life. You’ll feel more peace and more joy, less lonely, and more hopeful about your future. You’ll also have increased mental clarity as you study and work. And, in addition to these great rewards for working every day to be just a little more pure, you’ll be increasing your ability to experience true marital intimacy.

This is why pornography is so devastating! Contrary to what all of its promoters claim, pornography will actually prevent you from experiencing the most marvelous kind of intimacy.

Love and Marriage, Wendy Watson Nelson An Evening with President Russell M. NelsonWorldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 8, 2017 • Brigham Young University

If you choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.

I realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that step of getting married. If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work.

Perhaps you are having a little too much fun being single, taking extravagant vacations, buying expensive cars and toys, and just generally enjoying the carefree life with your friends. I’ve encountered groups of you running around together, and I admit that I’ve wondered why you aren’t out with the young ladies.

Brethren, there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.

Thomas S. Monson, "Priesthood Power",General Conference  April 2011

Do We Have Men to Match These Women

Over the years, I have visited members of the Church in many countries, and despite differences in circumstances and cultures, everywhere I have been impressed with the faith and capacity of our women, including some of the very young. So many of them possess a remarkable faith and goodness. They know the scriptures. They are poised and confident. I ask myself, Do we have men to match these women? Are our young men developing into worthy companions that such women can look up to and respect?
D. Todd Christofferson, "Let Us Be Men"  October 2006 General Conference

The Issue Was Not Earrings!

Sister Bednar and I are acquainted with a returned missionary who had dated a special young woman for a period of time. He cared for her very much, and he was desirous of making his relationship with her more serious. He was considering and hoping for engagement and marriage. This relationship was developing during the time that President Hinckley counseled the Relief Society sisters and young women of the Church to wear only one earring in each ear.

The young man waited patiently over a period of time for the young woman to remove her extra earrings, but she did not take them out. This was a valuable piece of information for this young man, and he felt unsettled about her nonresponsiveness to a prophet’s pleading. For this and other reasons, he ultimately stopped dating the young woman, because he was looking for an eternal companion who had the courage to promptly and quietly obey the counsel of the prophet in all things and at all times. The young man was quick to observe that the young woman was not quick to observe.

I presume that some of you might have difficulty with my last example. You may believe the young man was too judgmental or that basing an eternally important decision, even in part, upon such a supposedly minor issue is silly or fanatical. Perhaps you are bothered because the example focuses upon a young woman who failed to respond to prophetic counsel instead of upon a young man. I simply invite you to consider and ponder the power of being quick to observe and what was actually observed in the case I just described. The issue was not earrings!

Author: David A. Bednar
Title: Quick to Observe
Where: Ensign, Dec 2006, 30–36

Prematurely Pairing Off With a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Dangerous

Prematurely pairing off with a boyfriend or girlfriend is dangerous. Becoming a “couple” creates emotional intimacy, which too often leads to physical intimacy. Satan knows this sequence and uses it to his advantage. He will do whatever he can to keep young men from serving missions and to prevent temple marriages.

It is vital that parents have the courage to speak up and intervene before Satan succeeds. President Boyd K. Packer has taught that “when morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.”4

Larry R. Lawrence, “Courageous Parenting,” Ensign, Nov 2010, 98–100

Proper Dating Is Part of Missionary Preparation

Begin to prepare for a temple marriage as well as for a mission. Proper dating is a part of that preparation. In cultures where dating is appropriate, do not date until you are 16 years old. “Not all teenagers need to date or even want to. … When you begin dating, go in groups or on double dates. … Make sure your parents meet [and become acquainted with] those you date.” Because dating is a preparation for marriage, “date only those who have high standards.” ²
Thomas S. Monson, "Preparation Brings Blessings", Ensign, May 2010, 64–67

The Stuff of Which Your Dreams are Made

And so, my dear young men, you may not think seriously about it now. But the time will come when you will fall in love. It will occupy all of your thoughts and be the stuff of which your dreams are made. Make yourself worthy of the loveliest girl in all the world. Keep yourself worthy through all the days of your life. Be good and true and kind one to another.

Author: Gordon B. Hinckley
Title: Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry
Where: Ensign, May 1998, 49