A Story of Not Taking Offense When It Was Justified

 Years ago, Elder John H. Groberg related the story of a young family living in a small branch in Hawaii in the early 1900s. They had been members of the Church for about two years when one of their daughters fell ill with an undiagnosed disease and was hospitalized. At church the next Sunday, the father and his son prepared the sacrament as they did most weeks, but as the young father knelt to bless the bread, the branch president, suddenly realizing who was at the sacrament table, jumped up and cried, “Stop. You can’t touch the sacrament. Your daughter has an unknown disease. Leave immediately while someone else fixes new sacrament bread. We can’t have you here. Go.” The stunned father searchingly looked at the branch president and then the congregation and, sensing the depth of anxiety and embarrassment from all, motioned to his family, and they quietly filed out of the chapel.

Not a word was said as, dejectedly, the family walked along the trail to their small home. There they sat in a circle, and the father said, “Please be silent until I am ready to speak.” The young son wondered what they would do to get revenge for the shame they had suffered: would they kill the branch president’s pigs, or burn his house, or join another church? Five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five minutes passed in silence.

The father’s clenched fists began to relax, and tears formed. The mother began to cry, and soon each of the children was quietly weeping. The father turned to his wife and said, “I love you,” and then repeated those words to each of their children. “I love all of you and I want us to be together, forever, as a family. And the only way that can be is for all of us to be good members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and be sealed by the holy priesthood in the temple. This is not the branch president’s church. It is the Church of Jesus Christ. We will not allow any man or any hurt or embarrassment or pride to keep us from being together forever. Next Sunday we will go back to church. We will stay by ourselves until our daughter’s sickness is known, but we will go back.”

They did go back, their daughter recovered, and the family was sealed in the Laie Hawaii Temple when it was completed. Today, well over 100 souls call their father, grandfather, and great-grandfather blessed because he kept his eyes on eternity.

The Testimony of Jesus

April 2024

General Conference

D. Todd Christofferson

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/04/51christofferson?lang=eng&verse=#p

We Will Find Mercy and Compassion and Forgiveness at the Hands of our Eternal Father

 Brothers and sisters, as we repent of our sins and come boldly to the “throne of grace,” leaving before Him there our alms and our heartfelt supplications, we will find mercy and compassion and forgiveness at the benevolent hands of our Eternal Father and His obedient, perfectly pure Son. Then, with Job and all the refined faithful, we will behold a world “too wonderful” to understand.

Motions of a Hidden Fire

April 2024

General Conference

Jeffrey R. Holland

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/04/13holland?lang=eng&verse=#p

A person cannot willfully sin on Saturday evening and expect that all he or she needs to do is eat a piece of bread and drink a cup of water on Sunday and magically be cleansed.

The sacrament was, however, not instituted as a specific means of securing a remission of our sins (see James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, 12th ed. [1924], 175). A person cannot willfully sin on Saturday evening and expect that all he or she needs to do is eat a piece of bread and drink a cup of water on Sunday and magically be cleansed. But the sanctifying effect of the Holy Ghost can cleanse all who repent with a sincere heart and with real intent.

Jesus Christ Is the Treasure

October 2023

General Conference

Dale G. Renlund

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10/57renlund?lang=eng&verse=#p

The same Son of God who atoned for my sins is the same Redeemer who will also save those who have deeply hurt me.

 Through His atoning sacrifice, He can release us from the sin and weight of a warring heart and provide us with the sustenance we need....

the Savior—in an incomprehensible way—take upon Him our sins and the sins of those who have hurt or offended us. In Gethsemane and on the cross, He claimed these sins. He made a way for us to let go of a vengeful heart. That “way” is through forgiving—which can be one of the most difficult things we ever do and one of the most divine things we ever experience....

We are not left to deal with the consequences of others’ actions on our own; we too can be made whole and given the chance to be saved from the weight of a warring heart and any actions that may follow....

Please know that forgiving someone does not mean that you put yourself in a position where you will continue to be hurt. “We can work toward forgiving someone and still feel prompted by the Spirit to stay away from them.”....

Over the years and in my efforts to find peace and healing on the path of forgiveness, I came to realize in a profound way that the same Son of God who atoned for my sins is the same Redeemer who will also save those who have deeply hurt me. I could not truly believe the first truth without believing the second....

Richard G. Scott said: “You cannot erase what has been done, but you can forgive. Forgiveness heals terrible, tragic wounds, for it allows the love of God to purge your heart and mind of the poison of hate. It cleanses your consciousness of the desire for revenge. It makes place for the purifying, healing, restoring love of the Lord.”....

On the path of forgiveness and healing lies a choice not to perpetuate unhealthy patterns or relationships in our families or elsewhere. To all within our influence, we can offer kindness for cruelty, love for hate, gentleness for abrasiveness, safety for distress, and peace for contention.

To give what you have been denied is a powerful part of divine healing possible through faith in Jesus Christ. To live in such a way that you give, as Isaiah has said, beauty for the ashes of your life is an act of faith that follows the supreme example of a Savior who suffered all that He might succor all.

Beauty for Ashes: The Healing Path of Forgiveness

October 2022

General Conference

Kristin M. Yee

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/10/23yee?lang=eng&verse=#p

Forgiving Others May Be the Ultimate Expression of Faith in Jesus Christ

 The Lord teaches us that forgiving others is a universal commandment: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” Extending forgiveness can take tremendous courage and humility. It can also take time. It requires us to put our faith and trust in the Lord as we assume accountability for the condition of our hearts. Here lies the significance and power of our agency.

With the depiction of this father in the parable of the prodigal son, the Savior emphasized that forgiveness is one of the noblest gifts we can give one another and most specifically ourselves. Unburdening our hearts through forgiveness isn’t always easy, but through the enabling power of Jesus Christ, it is possible.

Christ Heals That Which Is Broken

April 2022

General Conference

Amy A. Wright

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/42wright?lang=eng&verse=#p

Jesus specializes in the seemingly impossible. He came here to make the impossible possible, the irredeemable redeemable, to heal the unhealable, to right the unrightable, to promise the unpromisable. And He’s really good at it. In fact, He’s perfect at it.

 Dear friends who have been so terribly wounded—and for that matter, anyone who has borne the injustices of life—you can have a new beginning and a fresh start. In Gethsemane and on Calvary, Jesus “took upon Himself … all of the anguish and suffering ever experienced by you and me,” and He has overcome it all! With arms outstretched, the Savior offers the gift of healing to you. With courage, patience, and faithful focus on Him, before too long you can come to fully accept this gift. You can let go of your pain and leave it at His feet.

Your gentle Savior declared, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that [you] might have life, and that [you] might have it more abundantly.” You are a survivor, you can heal, and you can trust that with the power and grace of Jesus Christ, you will overcome and conquer.

Jesus specializes in the seemingly impossible. He came here to make the impossible possible, the irredeemable redeemable, to heal the unhealable, to right the unrightable, to promise the unpromisable. And He’s really good at it. In fact, He’s perfect at it. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Healer, amen

He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors

April 2022

General Conference

Patrick Kearon

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/24kearon?lang=eng&verse=#p

Please know that the Savior has descended below all things, even what has happened to you

 Please know that the Savior has descended below all things, even what has happened to you. Because of that, He knows exactly what real terror and shame feel like and how it feels to be abandoned and broken. From the depths of His atoning suffering, the Savior imparts hope you thought was lost forever, strength you believed you could never possess, and healing you couldn’t imagine was possible.

He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors

April 2022

General Conference

Patrick Kearon

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/24kearon?lang=eng&verse=#p

Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most.

Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to “continue in patience until ye are perfected.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Continue in Patience", Ensign, May 2010, 56–59

If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost … , you may take it as evidence that the Atonement is working in your life.

 Even though we may believe in Christ’s cleansing powers, the question often arises: “How do I know if I have been forgiven of my sins?” If we feel the Spirit, then that is our witness that we have been forgiven, or that the cleansing process is taking place. President Henry B. Eyring taught, “If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost … , you may take it as evidence that the Atonement is working in your life.”

Some have asked, “But if I am forgiven, why do I still feel guilt?” Perhaps in God’s mercy the memory of that guilt is a warning, a spiritual “stop sign” of sorts that, at least for a time, cries out when additional temptations confront us: “Don’t go down that road. You know the pain it can bring.” In this sense, it serves as a protection, not a punishment.

Is it possible, then, to remember our sins and still be free of guilt?

Alma remembered his sins, even years after he repented. But when he cried unto Jesus for mercy, he said, “I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.”

How could he remember his sins but have no pain or guilt? Because when we repent, we are “born of God.” We become, as the scriptures say, “new creatures” in Christ. With perfect honesty we can now say, “I am not the man or woman who committed those past sins. I am a new and transformed being.”

The Atonement of Jesus Christ

April 2019

2010–2019

Tad R. Callister

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/04/45callister?lang=eng&verse=#p

Harsh words or unkind thoughts can be repented of quickly and sincerely.

Because none of us is perfect and feelings are easily hurt, families can become sacred sanctuaries only as we repent early and sincerely. Parents can set an example. Harsh words or unkind thoughts can be repented of quickly and sincerely. A simple “I am sorry” can heal wounds and invite both forgiveness and love.

A Home Where the Spirit of the Lord Dwells

April 2019

General Conference

Henry B. Eyring

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/04/16eyring?lang=eng&verse=#p

To Forgive Does Not Mean You Reenter a Toxic Relationship

“Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven,” Christ taught in New Testament times. And in our day: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” It is, however, important for some of you living in real anguish to note what He did not say. He did not say, “You are not allowed to feel true pain or real sorrow from the shattering experiences you have had at the hand of another.” Nor did He say, “In order to forgive fully, you have to reenter a toxic relationship or return to an abusive, destructive circumstance.” But notwithstanding even the most terrible offenses that might come to us, we can rise above our pain only when we put our feet onto the path of true healing. That path is the forgiving one walked by Jesus of Nazareth, who calls out to each of us, “Come, follow me.”

The Ministry of Reconciliation

October 2018

General Conference

Jeffrey R. Holland

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/10/the-ministry-of-reconciliation?lang=eng&verse=#p

Doesn't Take Long

In a matter of only a few weeks—doesn’t take long—Brother Bowen was fully engaged in Church activity and had made himself worthy to return to the temple. Soon enough he accepted the call to preside over a struggling little branch of 25 and grew it into a thriving congregation of well over 100. All of this took place nearly half a century ago, but the consequence of a son and a daughter’s ministering plea to their own father and that father’s willingness to forgive and move forward in spite of the imperfections of others has brought blessings that are still coming—and will come forever.

The Ministry of Reconciliation

October 2018

General Conference

Jeffrey R. Holland

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/10/the-ministry-of-reconciliation?lang=eng&verse=#p

This reminds me of this teaching of President Nelson:

http://quotestokeep.blogspot.com/2022/11/the-covenant-path-does-not-mean-that.html

It is not pleasing to the Lord if we are cruel or mean to others....

My young sisters—and adult women too—it will bless your lives if you limit your use of and dependence on cell phones.

....Be kind to others. Kindness is something many of our youth are doing already. Some groups of youth in some communities have shown the way for all of us. We have been inspired by our young people’s acts of kindness to those in need of love and help. In many ways, you give that help and show that love to one another. We wish all would follow your example.

At the same time, we know that the adversary tempts all of us to be unkind, and there are still many examples of this, even among children and youth. Persistent unkindness is known by many names, such as bullying, ganging up on someone, or joining together to reject others. These examples deliberately inflict pain on classmates or friends. My young sisters, it is not pleasing to the Lord if we are cruel or mean to others....

The youth battalion President Nelson invited you to join will not be mean to one another. They will follow the Savior’s teaching to reach out and be loving and considerate of others, even to turn the other cheek when we feel someone has wronged us....

My dear sisters, if you participate in any meanness or pettiness—individually or with a group—resolve now to change and encourage others to change. That is my counsel, and I give it to you as a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ because His Spirit has prompted me to speak to you about this important subject.

Parents and Children

October 2018

General Conference

Dallin H. Oaks

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/10/parents-and-children?lang=eng&verse=#p

Through the Sacrament the Savior Performs His Cleansing Miracle Yet Again

the Lord has provided a way for us to continually refresh the purifying effect of our baptism through another ordinance—the sacrament. Each week we can “witness … that [we] are willing to take upon [us] the name of [the] Son” again by reaching out and taking the emblems of the Lord’s flesh and blood in our hands—the bread and the water—and par taking of them into our very souls. In return, the Savior performs His cleansing miracle yet again and qualifies us to have the continuing influence of the Holy Ghost. Is this not evidence of the infinite mercy found only in the name of Jesus Christ?

All Must Take upon Them the Name Given of the Father

October 2018

General Conference

Paul B. Pieper

The extension of mercy will not be automatic. It will be through covenant with Him.

The extension of mercy will not be automatic. It will be through covenant with Him. It will be on His terms, His generous terms, which include, as an absolute essential, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins.

Boyd K. Packer, The Mediator, April 1977 General Conference

whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness.

 whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness.

 Nov. 2011 The Divine Gift Of Repentance   -  Elder D. Todd Christofferson

The act of partaking of the sacrament, in and of itself, does not remit sins.

The ordinance of the sacrament is a holy and repeated invitation to repent sincerely and to be renewed spiritually. The act of partaking of the sacrament, in and of itself, does not remit sins. But as we prepare conscientiously and participate in this holy ordinance with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, then the promise is that we may always have the Spirit of the Lord to be with us. And by the sanctifying power of the Holy Ghost as our constant companion, we can always retain a remission of our sins.

David A. Bednar, “Always Retain a Remission of Your Sins,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2016, 61–62.

If You Have Something That Is Bothering You--Sometimes So Long Ago You Can Hardly Remember It

the Atonement is not a general thing that is for the whole Church. The Atonement is individual, and if you have something that is bothering you—sometimes so long ago you can hardly remember it—put the Atonement to work. It will clean it up, and you, as does He, will remember your sins no more.

General Conference APRIL 2015, The Plan of Happiness,  President Boyd K. Packer

Power of Saying I'm Wrong; I'm Sorry; Please Forgive Me!

Throughout Jack’s life, he and his father had many serious arguments. One day, when he was 17, they had a particularly violent one. Jack said to his father, “This is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I’m leaving home, and I shall never return.” So saying, he went to the house and packed his bag. His mother begged him to stay; he was too angry to listen. He left her crying at the doorway.

Leaving the yard, he was about to pass through the gate when he heard his father call to him, “Jack, I know that a large share of the blame for your leaving rests with me. For this I am truly sorry. I want you to know that if you should ever wish to return home, you’ll always be welcome. And I’ll try to be a better father to you. I want you to know that I’ll always love you.”

Jack said nothing but went to the bus station and bought a ticket to a distant point. As he sat on the bus, watching the miles go by, he commenced to think about the words of his father. He began to realize how much love it had required for him to do what he had done. Dad had apologized. He had invited him back and left the words ringing in the summer air: “I love you.”

It was then that Jack realized that the next move was up to him. He knew the only way he could ever find peace with himself was to demonstrate to his father the same kind of maturity, goodness, and love that Dad had shown toward him. Jack got off the bus. He bought a return ticket and went back.

He arrived shortly after midnight, entered the house, turned on the light. There in the rocking chair sat his father, his head in his hands. As he looked up and saw Jack, he arose from the chair and they rushed into each other’s arms. Jack often said, “Those last years that I was home were among the happiest of my life.”

We could say that here was a boy who overnight became a man. Here was a father who, suppressing passion and bridling pride, rescued his son before he became one of that vast, “lost battalion” resulting from fractured families and shattered homes. Love was the binding band, the healing balm. Love so often felt, so seldom expressed.
Thomas S. Monson, Bring Him Home, April 2003General ConferenceA Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson p. 180

Hidden Wedges--Blame Keeps Wounds Open

I am acquainted with a family which came to America from Germany. The English language was difficult for them. They had but little by way of means, but each was blessed with the will to work and with a love of God.

Their third child was born, lived but two months, and then died. Father was a cabinetmaker and fashioned a beautiful casket for the body of his precious child. The day of the funeral was gloomy, thus reflecting the sadness they felt in their loss. As the family walked to the chapel, with Father carrying the tiny casket, a small number of friends had gathered. However, the chapel door was locked. The busy bishop had forgotten the funeral. Attempts to reach him were futile. Not knowing what to do, the father placed the casket under his arm and, with his family beside him, carried it home, walking in a drenching rain.

If the family were of a lesser character, they could have blamed the bishop and harbored ill feelings. When the bishop discovered the tragedy, he visited the family and apologized. With the hurt still evident in his expression, but with tears in his eyes, the father accepted the apology, and the two embraced in a spirit of understanding. No hidden wedge was left to cause further feelings of anger. Love and acceptance prevailed....Blame keeps wounds open.

A Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson, Threads in Your Tapestry, p428
Hidden Wedges, Thomas S. Monson, April 2002 General Conference