If any are in error, try to reclaim them by kindness; if they have a bad spirit, show them a better one; i

 We should have a common sympathy one for another, and feel a kindly regard for the lowest of God’s creations, and especially for the Saints of God, no matter what position they occupy. If any are in error, try to reclaim them by kindness; if they have a bad spirit, show them a better one; if any do not do right, do right yourselves and say, “Come, follow me, as I follow Christ.” Would not that be the right course to pursue? I think it would; that is the way I understand the Gospel. We do not, any of us, have the priesthood for self aggrandizement, or to be used to oppress or take advantage of anybody, or to use improper language; but with all kindness and long suffering and forbearance and with love unfeigned

Chapter 14: The Responsibilities and Order of the Priesthood

John Taylor

Teachings of Presidents

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-john-taylor/chapter-14?lang=eng&verse=#p

Reminds me of this teaching:

What If People Are Rude? Love them.

What If People Are Rude? Love them.

 When we are filled with kindness, we are not judgmental. The Savior taught, “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” He also taught that “with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

“But,” you ask, “what if people are rude?”

Love them.

“If they are obnoxious?”

Love them.

“But what if they offend? Surely I must do something then?”

Love them.

“Wayward?”

The answer is the same. Be kind. Love them.

Why? In the scriptures, Jude taught, “And of some have compassion, making a difference.”

Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have if we are only kind?

The Virtue of Kindness

April 2005

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2005/04/the-virtue-of-kindness?lang=eng&verse=#p

It is a sad irony, then, when someone, feeling he or she doesn’t meet the ideal in all aspects of life, concludes that he doesn’t or she doesn’t belong in the very organization designed by God to help us progress toward the ideal.

 Paul explained that the Church and its officers are given by God “for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

“Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.”

It is a sad irony, then, when someone, feeling he or she doesn’t meet the ideal in all aspects of life, concludes that he doesn’t or she doesn’t belong in the very organization designed by God to help us progress toward the ideal.

Let us leave judgment in the Lord’s hands and those He has commissioned and be content to love and treat each other the best we can. Let us ask Him to show us the way, day by day, to “bring in … the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind”—that is, everyone—to the great feast of the Lord.

The Doctrine of Belonging

October 2022

General Conference

D. Todd Christofferson

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/10/28christofferson?lang=eng&verse=#p

Another way to say “go, and sin no more” could be “go forth and change.

 While the Savior was teaching in the temple, a woman was brought to Him by the scribes and Pharisees. We do not know her full story, just that she was “taken in adultery.” Often the scriptures give only a small portion of someone’s life, and based on that portion, we sometimes tend to exalt or condemn. No one’s life can be understood by one magnificent moment or one regrettable public disappointment. The purpose of these scriptural accounts is to help us see that Jesus Christ was the answer then, and He is the answer now. He knows our complete story and exactly what we suffer, as well as our capabilities and vulnerabilities.

Christ’s response to this precious daughter of God was “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” Another way to say “go, and sin no more” could be “go forth and change.” The Savior was inviting her to repent: to change her behavior, her associations, the way she felt about herself, her heart.

Christ Heals That Which Is Broken

April 2022

General Conference

Amy A. Wright

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/42wright?lang=eng&verse=#p

For Strength of Youth Standards Do Not Expire When We Leave the Young Men and Young Women

The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet contains standards that, when followed carefully, will bring rich blessings and help us stay on the covenant path. Although it was written for the benefit of the youth, its standards do not expire when we leave the Young Men and Young Women programs. They apply to each of us all the time. A review of these standards may prompt other ways we can be more careful in our gospel living.

We do not lower our standards to fit in or to make someone else feel comfortable. We are disciples of Jesus Christ, and as such we are about elevating others, lifting them to a higher, holier place where they too can reap greater blessings.

I invite each of us to seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost to know what adjustments we need to make in our lives to be more carefully aligned with our covenants. I also plead with you not to be critical of others making this same journey. “Judgment is mine, saith the Lord.” We are each in the process of growth and change.

Careful versus Casual

April 2019

General Conference

Becky Craven

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/04/12craven?lang=eng&verse=#p

Can’t you see that everyone around you is a sacred being?

While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard,” for “His love [is] unfathomable.”

A few years ago my older sister passed away. She had a challenging life. She struggled with the gospel and was never really active. Her husband abandoned their marriage and left her with four young children to raise. On the evening of her passing, in a room with her children present, I gave her a blessing to peacefully return home. At that moment I realized I had too often defined my sister’s life in terms of her trials and inactivity. As I placed my hands on her head that evening, I received a severe rebuke from the Spirit. I was made acutely aware of her goodness and allowed to see her as God saw her—not as someone who struggled with the gospel and life but as someone who had to deal with difficult issues I did not have. I saw her as a magnificent mother who, despite great obstacles, had raised four beautiful, amazing children. I saw her as the friend to our mother who took time to watch over and be a companion to her after our father passed away.

During that final evening with my sister, I believe God was asking me, “Can’t you see that everyone around you is a sacred being?”

Taking upon Ourselves the Name of Jesus Christ

October 2018

General Conference

Robert C. Gay

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/10/taking-upon-ourselves-the-name-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng&verse=#p

the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard

“While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; He views them as His offspring, and without any of those contracted feelings that influence the children of men, causes ‘His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.’ [Matthew 5:45.]”

Chapter 2: God the Eternal Father, Joseph Smith Teachings of Presidents

When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.

When I was a young man, I served as counselor to a wise district president in the Church. He tried to teach me. One of the things I remember wondering about was this advice he gave: “When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.”


Henry B. Eyring, “In the Strength of the Lord,” Ensign, May 2004, 16

We Are to Use Judgement..Sometime Those Who Raise A Warning Voice Are Dismissed as Judgemental

As for the scribes and Pharisees and Sadducees, Jesus was uncompromising in condemning their hypocrisy. His warnings and commandments were direct: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.”23 Surely no one would accuse the Savior of not loving these scribes and Pharisees—after all, He suffered and died to save them too. But loving them, He could not let them go on in sin without clearly correcting them. One observer noted, “Jesus taught his followers to do as he did: to welcome everyone but also to teach about sin, since love demands warning people about what can hurt them.”24

Sometimes those who raise a warning voice are dismissed as judgmental. Paradoxically, however, those who claim truth is relative and moral standards are a matter of personal preference are often the same ones who most harshly criticize people who don’t accept the current norm of “correct thinking.” One writer referred to this as the “shame culture”:

“In a guilt culture you know you are good or bad by what your conscience feels. In a shame culture you know you are good or bad by what your community says about you, by whether it honors or excludes you. … [In the shame culture,] moral life is not built on the continuum of right and wrong; it’s built on the continuum of inclusion and exclusion. …

“… Everybody is perpetually insecure in a moral system based on inclusion and exclusion. There are no permanent standards, just the shifting judgment of the crowd. It is a culture of oversensitivity, overreaction and frequent moral panics, during which everybody feels compelled to go along. …

“The guilt culture could be harsh, but at least you could hate the sin and still love the sinner. The modern shame culture allegedly values inclusion and tolerance, but it can be strangely unmerciful to those who disagree and to those who don’t fit in.”25


The Voice of Warning, D. Todd Christofferson, General Conference April 2017

A repenting sinner draws closer to God than does the self-righteous person who condemns that sinner

The message for us is clear: a repenting sinner draws closer to God than does the self-righteous person who condemns that sinner. 


Our Good Shepherd, Dale G. Renlund, April 2017 General Conference

Loving the Sinner but Not the Sin

Jesus Christ views disease in His sheep as a condition that needs treatment, care, and compassion. This shepherd, our Good Shepherd, finds joy in seeing His diseased sheep progress toward healing....The Gospel of John records the effect of the Savior’s empathy on a sinner. Scribes and Pharisees brought a woman caught in the very act of adultery to the Savior. The accusers implied that she should be stoned, in compliance with the law of Moses. Jesus, in response to persistent questioning, finally said to them, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

The accusers departed, “and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

“When Jesus … saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

“She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”14

Surely, the Savior did not condone adultery. But He also did not condemn the woman. He encouraged her to reform her life. She was motivated to change because of His compassion and mercy. The Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible attests to her resultant discipleship: “And the woman glorified God from that hour, and believed on his name.”15

While God is empathetic, we should not mistakenly believe that He is accepting and open-minded about sin. He is not. The Savior came to earth to save us from our sins and, importantly, will not save us in our sins.16 A skilled interrogator, Zeezrom once tried to trap Amulek by asking: “Shall [the coming Messiah] save his people in their sins? And Amulek answered and said unto him: I say unto you he shall not, for it is impossible for him to deny his word. … He cannot save them in their sins.”17 Amulek spoke a fundamental truth that to be saved from our sins, we must abide “the conditions of repentance,” which unleash the Redeemer’s power to save our souls.18

The Savior’s compassion, love, and mercy draw us toward Him.19 Through His Atonement, we are no longer satisfied with our sinful state.20 (DC 88:35 is this last cross reference.  It is excellent to consider.) God is clear about what is right and acceptable to Him and what is wrong and sinful. This is not because He desires to have mindless, obedient followers. No, our Heavenly Father desires that His children knowingly and willingly choose to become like Him21 and qualify for the kind of life He enjoys.22 In doing so, His children fulfill their divine destiny and become heirs to all that He has.23 For this reason, Church leaders cannot alter God’s commandments or doctrine contrary to His will, to be convenient or popular.
Our Good Shepherd, Dale G. Renlund, April 2017 General Conference

The Individual In No Way Qualified

Time and time again at funerals, statements are made that the deceased will inherit all blessings of celestial glory when that individual has in no way qualified by obtaining the necessary ordinances and by keeping the required covenants. That won’t happen. Such blessings can only be earned by meeting the Lord’s requirements. His mercy does not overcome the requirements of His law. They must be met.


Richard G. Scott, First Things First Ensign, May 2001, 6

Too often we let ourselves be distracted by the imperfections of our fellow members instead of following the example of our Master.

Considering all of this, how could it ever be possible that we of all people would not be excited about attending our Church worship services? Or get tired of reading the holy scriptures? I suppose this could be possible only if our hearts were past feeling to experience gratitude and awe for the sacred and sublime gifts God has granted us. Life-changing truths are before our eyes and at our fingertips, but sometimes we sleepwalk on the path of discipleship. Too often we let ourselves be distracted by the imperfections of our fellow members instead of following the example of our Master. We tread a path covered with diamonds, but we can scarcely distinguish them from ordinary pebbles.

"O How Great the Plan of Our God!" , Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference October 2016

The Older I Get, The Less Judgement I Become. The Greatest Form of Charity May Be To Withhold Judgement.

Some years ago a cherished friend noted, “The greatest form of charity may be to withhold judgment.”4 That is still true today.

Recently, as three-year-old Alyssa watched a movie with her siblings, she remarked with a puzzled expression, “Mom, that chicken is weird!”

Her mother looked at the screen and responded with a smile, “Honey, that is a peacock.”

Like that unknowing three-year-old, we sometimes look at others with an incomplete or inaccurate understanding. We may focus on the differences and perceived flaws in those around us whereas our Heavenly Father sees His children, created in His eternal image, with magnificent and glorious potential.

President James E. Faust is remembered to have said, “The older I get, the less judgmental I become.”5 That reminds me of the Apostle Paul’s observation:

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became [older], I put away childish things.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”6

When we see our own imperfections more clearly, we are less inclined to view others “through a glass, darkly.” We want to use the light of the gospel to see others as the Savior does—with compassion, hope, and charity. The day will come when we will have a complete understanding of others’ hearts and will be grateful to have mercy extended to us—just as we extend charitable thoughts and words to others during this life.
"I Will Bring the Light of the Gospel Into My Home", Jean B. Bingham

Complementing Others Rids Us of Pride and Fulfills Article of Faith 13; The Hot Seat

If we truly want to emulate the Lord, we need to be looking for the good in others and then voicing it. If there is anything ­virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy, we should be seeking after these things (see Articles of Faith 1:13). Praise is a precious gift that costs the giver nothing. So if you see something, say something.

When our six children were growing up, we often played a game during family home evening that encouraged them to give compliments. Every family member took a turn sitting in the chair that was designated the “hot seat.” Then we went around the room, and each of us said something we admired or appreciated about the person in the hot seat. For example, comments were made such as “Casey always shares his things with me,” “Brooke does her homework as soon as she comes home from school,” or “McLane is really funny; he can make me laugh when I’m having a hard day.” You get the idea.

We noticed that whenever we played this game, the Spirit would fill our home with love. I am sure that heaven approved of this family tradition because the Lord has commanded us to “strengthen [our] brethren in all [our] conversation” (D&C 108:7).

Choose Happiness, Larry R. Lawrence, BYU Speeches Mar 08, 2016

If the Choice Is Between Reforming Other Church Members or Ourselves

Besides, if the choice is between reforming other Church members or ourselves, is there really any question about where we should begin? The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others—not the other way around! The imperfections of others never release us from the need to work on our own shortcomings.

Neal A. Maxwell, A Brother Offended, April 1982 General Conference

If You Judge People, You Have No Time to Love Them

Appearances can be so deceiving, such a poor measure of a person. Admonished the Savior, “Judge not according to the appearance.”...Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” 5

Thomas S. Monson, Charity Never Faileth, October 2010 General Conference

A Prophets Voice - Messages from Thomas S. Monson p. 484, 485

The Adversary Would Have Us Be Critical or Judgmental of One Another

The adversary would have us be critical or judgmental of one another. He wants us to concentrate on our differences and compare ourselves to one another. You may love to exercise vigorously for an hour each day because it makes you feel so good, while I consider it to be a major athletic event if I walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator. We can still be friends, can’t we?

We as women can be particularly hard on ourselves. When we compare ourselves to one another, we will always feel inadequate or resentful of others. Sister Patricia T. Holland once said, “The point is, we simply cannot call ourselves Christian and continue to judge one another—or ourselves—so harshly.” She goes on to say that there is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over. We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve.
Sisterhood: Oh, How We Need Each Other By Bonnie L. Oscarson - April 2014 General Conference

This Topic of Judging Others - Stop It

This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

 April 2012 General Conference -  The Merciful Obtain Mercy   -  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf