There can be no repentance without recognition of wrong. Whether by provocation, introspection, or wrenching remembrance, denial must be dissolved. As with the prodigal son who finally “came to himself” (Luke 15:17), the first rays of recognition help us begin to see “things as they really are” (Jacob 4:13), including distinguishing between the motes and beams. Recognition is a sacred moment, often accompanied by the hot blush of shame.
After recognition, real remorse floods the soul. This is a “godly sorrow,” not merely the “sorrow of the world” nor the “sorrowing of the damned” when we can no longer “take happiness in sin” (see 2 Cor. 7:10; Morm. 2:13). False remorse instead is like fondling our failings. In ritual regret, we mourn our mistakes but without mending them.
There can be no real repentance without personal suffering and the passage of sufficient time for the needed cleansing and turning. This is much more than merely waiting until feelings of remorse subside. Misery, like adversity, can have its special uses. No wonder chastening is often needed until the turning is really under way! (see D&C 1:27; Hel. 12:3).
Real remorse quickly brings forth positive indicators, “fruits meet for repentance” (Matt. 3:8; see also Acts 26:20; Alma 5:54). In process of time, these fruits bud, blossom, and ripen.
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