Sometimes We Fathers Forget That Once We, Too, Were Boys, And Boys At Times Can Be Vexing to Parents

Our influence is surely felt in our respective families. Sometimes we fathers forget that once we, too, were boys, and boys at times can be vexing to parents.

I recall how much, as a youngster, I liked dogs. One day I took my wagon and placed a wooden orange crate in it and went looking for dogs. At that time dogs were everywhere to be found: at school, walking along the sidewalks, or exploring vacant lots, of which there were many. As I would find a dog and capture it, I placed it in the crate, took it home, locked it in the coal shed, and turned the latch on the door. That day I think I brought home six dogs of varying sizes and made them my prisoners after this fashion. I had no idea what I would do with all those dogs, so I didn’t reveal my deed to anyone.

Dad came home from work and, as was his custom, took the coal bucket and went to the coal shed to fill it. Can you imagine his shock and utter consternation as he opened the door and immediately faced six dogs, all attempting to escape at once? As I recall, Dad flushed a little bit, and then he calmed down and quietly told me, “Tommy, coal sheds are for coal. Other people’s dogs rightfully belong to them.” By observing him, I learned a lesson in patience and calmness.

It is a good thing I did, for a similar event occurred in my life with our youngest son, Clark.

Clark has always liked animals, birds, reptiles—anything that is alive. Sometimes that resulted in a little chaos in our home. One day in his boyhood he came home from Provo Canyon with a water snake, which he named Herman.

Right off the bat Herman got lost. Sister Monson found him in the silverware drawer. Water snakes have a way of being where you least expect them. Well, Clark moved Herman to the bathtub, put a plug in the drain, put a little water in, and had a sign taped to the back of the tub which read, “Don’t use this tub. It belongs to Herman.” So we had to use the other bathroom while Herman occupied that sequestered place.

But then one day, to our amazement, Herman disappeared. His name should have been Houdini. He was gone! So the next day Sister Monson cleaned up the tub and prepared it for normal use. Several days went by.

One evening I decided it was time to take a leisurely bath; so I filled the tub with a lot of warm water, and then I peacefully lay down in the tub for a few moments of relaxation. I was lying there just pondering, when the soapy water reached the level of the overflow drain and began to flow through it. Can you imagine my surprise when, with my eyes focused on that drain, Herman came swimming out, right for my face? I yelled out to my wife, “Frances! Here comes Herman!”

Well, Herman was captured again, put in a foolproof box, and we made a little excursion to Vivian Park in Provo Canyon and there released Herman into the beautiful waters of the South Fork Creek. Herman was never again to be seen by us.
I was grateful that day to have my own father's example of patience before me to show the proper response. 

Thomas S. Monson, "Peace, Be Still,", October 2002 General Conference
A Prophets Voice - Messages From Thomas S. Monson p. 422

I like this because it reminds me of Bishop Arnie Wolff and something he said his father would say, "When you have a 5 year old helping you--you get 5-year old work.  When you have a 12-year old helping you--you get 12-year old work." Meaning don't get upset when things aren't perfect!

Conscience Always Warms Us As A Friend Before Punishing Us As A Judge

For each of us it is infinitely better to hear and heed the call of conscience, for conscience always warns us as a friend before punishing us as a judge.
Thomas S. Monson, "Peace, Be Still,", October 2002 General Conference
A Prophets Voice - Messages From Thomas S. Monson p. 422

In That Dreaded 'Never, Never Land'

Primary leaders, do you know the children you are serving? Young Women leaders, do you know your young women? Aaronic Priesthood leaders, do you know the young men? Relief Society and Melchizedek Priesthood leaders, do you know the women and men over whom you have been called to preside? Do you understand their problems and their perplexities, their yearnings, ambitions, and hopes? Do you know how far they have traveled, the troubles they have experienced, the burdens they have carried, the sorrows they have borne?

When you really love those you serve, they will not find themselves in that dreaded “Never, Never Land”—never the object of concern, never the recipient of needed aid. It may not be your privilege to open gates of cities or doors of palaces, but true happiness and lasting joy will come to you and to each one you serve as you take a hand and reach a heart.

President Thomas S. Monson, Sugar Beets and the Worth of a Soul,: Ensign, Jul 2009, 4–7

Live Within Your Means; Whatever Your Means May Be

My Philosophy is that you live, as much as possible we should pay as we go. Save for a rainy day....I urge you to live within your means, whatever your means may be.

A Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson, Threads in Your Tapestry, p441

Marriott School Alumni Magazine Summer 2004

Hidden Wedges--Blame Keeps Wounds Open

I am acquainted with a family which came to America from Germany. The English language was difficult for them. They had but little by way of means, but each was blessed with the will to work and with a love of God.

Their third child was born, lived but two months, and then died. Father was a cabinetmaker and fashioned a beautiful casket for the body of his precious child. The day of the funeral was gloomy, thus reflecting the sadness they felt in their loss. As the family walked to the chapel, with Father carrying the tiny casket, a small number of friends had gathered. However, the chapel door was locked. The busy bishop had forgotten the funeral. Attempts to reach him were futile. Not knowing what to do, the father placed the casket under his arm and, with his family beside him, carried it home, walking in a drenching rain.

If the family were of a lesser character, they could have blamed the bishop and harbored ill feelings. When the bishop discovered the tragedy, he visited the family and apologized. With the hurt still evident in his expression, but with tears in his eyes, the father accepted the apology, and the two embraced in a spirit of understanding. No hidden wedge was left to cause further feelings of anger. Love and acceptance prevailed....Blame keeps wounds open.

A Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson, Threads in Your Tapestry, p428
Hidden Wedges, Thomas S. Monson, April 2002 General Conference

Interest Never Sleeps

President J. Reuben Clark Jr.: “Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; … Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1938, 103).

A Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson, Threads in Your Tapestry, p437

Marriott School Alumni Magazine Summer 2004

A Story of Listening to a Prompting; A Story About Never Giving Up; The Blessings & Miracles That Follow Each

Let me share an experience when inspiration came to me, providing a service opportunity. A longtime friend of mine, a robust athlete and all-star football player, was stricken with a malady that left him confined to a wheelchair. The doctors said he would never walk again. One day, as usual, in my morning prayers, I petitioned my Heavenly Father to know what He would have me do that day. Later that afternoon, as I was swimming in the pool at the old Deseret Gym, there came to my mind the thought, “Here you swim almost effortlessly, while your friend Stan languishes in his hospital bed, unable to move.” I felt the prompting: “Get to the hospital and give him a blessing.” Quickly, I left the pool, dressed, and hurried to Stan’s hospital room. His bed was empty. A nurse said he was in his wheelchair at the swimming pool, preparing for therapy. I hurried to the area, and there was Stan, totally despondent, all alone at the edge of the pool, ready to give up on life itself. I told him how I happened to be there. I said, “I didn’t just come, Stan. The Lord knew you needed a blessing. He knew that you needed such from one who knows you.” We returned to his hospital room where a blessing was provided. The Spirit of the Lord was there.

Day-by-day, Stan grew stronger. One day, about a year later, there was a knock at my office door, and in walked my friend who had been told he would never walk again. He handed his cane to his son, who was to be set apart for a mission, and walked over to my desk. What joy! What a moment of thanksgiving! Later he stood in the holy temple witnessing his daughter’s marriage. He stood without a cane. He expressed his gratitude for the inspiration that had come to me that day in the swimming pool at the Deseret Gym. Opportunities to give of ourselves are limitless, but they are

A Prophet's Voice--Messages from Thomas S. Monson, Threads in Your Tapestry, p441

Marriott School Alumni Magazine Summer 2004